


Stop and Go

by yuma (yuma_writes)



Series: Wahid of the Pack [4]
Category: The Brave (TV 2017)
Genre: Aftermath, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Angst, Flashbacks, Friendship, Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Protectiveness, Team Feels, Trust Issues, Whump, Wolf Pack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 04:10:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13919097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuma_writes/pseuds/yuma
Summary: He thought leaving was the right thing to do. But as he ran, he learned he also needed to stop.





	Stop and Go

**Author's Note:**

> An alternate take on my favorite episode. Three guesses which one--well, you'll probably only need one. LOL.

"All right, that's enough."

Amir tensed when a large hand curled at the nape of his neck. But the hold was fleeting. It left as soon as it registered on his skin.

Jaz wordlessly snarled when Dalton grabbed her by the back of her collars. Their CO wasn't as courteous with her as he was with Amir. He shook his grip as if he shifted into a wolf and caught her by the scruff.

" _Enough_ ," Dalton said.

It was the thread of thunder rippled through the syllables that finally stopped her. It was an Alpha's voice, one Amir knew was often directed to pack, but wasn't used since he was here. He was wary of hearing it, unsure how it would affect a non-shifter or an intruder like him. 

Even though Dalton's command was clearly directed at Jaz, McG and Preach glanced up from the commons table. They were studiously cleaning guns while Jaz and Amir's words grew sharper. Jaz threw barbed comments at Amir since they've returned and he'd been judiciously ignoring them. But at a certain point, he wasn't sure when, he started volleying comments back; random things, things he can't recall because he was trying to stay in the vacuum he gathered around him the moment he got on the 130 with the others. More than anything, he only returned fire because he resented being dragged out of the headspace he worked hard to construct.

When they getting to the point of shouting, to the point even Preach started to rise from his seat, Dalton came out of the quarters and with a voice that echoed the one in Paris, told them enough was enough.

"Both of you." Dalton folded his arms and glared at them. "Twenty klicks. From our den to the one past Team Five's and back. Now."

Amir stared. "Top, it's ten twenty-three."

"You mean _2223_ ," Jaz corrected tightly. She shrugged. "Fine."

"Shifted," Dalton added.

"Top," McG protested from the table. "Come on. Jaz can easily do that hopping on one paw."

Jaz smirked.

"You didn't let me finish," Dalton said mildly. He looked over at McG.

McG's mouth snapped shut.

Jaz's smirk faded.

Preach shook his head and held comment.

Amir slipped his hands into his pockets to keep from fidgeting.

"Jaz, I want you shifted and running _in pace_ with Amir."

McG and Preach both grimaced.

Amir furrowed his brow.

"What?" Jaz burst out. "But—"

Dalton held up his hand. "You run in pace with Amir, shifted, and learn some of the restraint you should have shown in Paris." He turned to Amir.

"And you need to learn to run with a partner."

"Partner," Jaz spat out. She glowered sideways at Amir. At Dalton's curt nod dismissing her, she stomped into the bunkers to shift.

Amir frowned. "I'm missing something."

"A wolf's natural instinct is to run, to chase," Preach explained in a low rumble. He pointed towards the bunker. "To run in pace is like asking a sports car to drive in pace with a turtle." He paused, adding, "No offense."

Amir shrugged. "It's the truth. I'm not faster than a wolf." He's painfully learned that lesson many times. "At least I'm not running _away_ from her."

"Well, at least not just from her," McG muttered. He clammed up when Dalton cleared his throat.

The silence stretched over them. Preach calmly gathered up the tools and gun parts on the table. The metal pieces clattered.

In the bunkers, clothing slapped loudly to the floor.

McG opened his mouth, looked over at Dalton and aborted the attempt to speak. He shook his head and took exaggerated care in shoving a cotton swap through his Sig's sight.

Amir took a deep breath. "I thought time was of the essence. You were all doing training with Evans's team. When Director Campbell called…" He curled his hands inside his pockets.

"You should have come find me," Dalton finished. His mouth pressed thin. "Instead, we came back to an empty den."

Amir's hands squeezed into tighter fists. He forced them loose, keeping them in his pockets. 

"I thought time was of the essence," Amir repeated. "The threat was real." 

Amir stared at a point past Dalton's ear. "I should have gone through proper channels."

"You should have done a lot more than that," McG grumbled, but he didn't look up.

Amir's eyes shifted away. He could still taste the smoke. His face still throbbed from the blow.

"I know," Amir said stiffly. "I made the wrong call."

A chair slid noisily across painted concrete. "Aw hell, I wasn't saying that it was y—"

A scuff on the floor drew everyone's attention to the doorway. Jaz stood on all fours, sleek as night, her ears flat to the back of her skull, her tail fluffed out and hung stiff behind her.

"Say, Top." McG's chair creaked as it inched back further. "Preach made a huge meal. I could go for a run myself—"

" _Sit_ ," Dalton snapped.

McG sat. He looked down at himself and then, scowled at Dalton.

"You enjoyed that," McG accused. He shot Amir a shrug.

Amir, unsure, lifted his shoulders in return. 

Dalton didn't smirk. His lake green eyes darted from Amir to Jaz and back. His mouth pursed, his hand idly scratching the bottom of his bearded chin as he considered the two of them. It looked like Dalton wanted to change his mind; perhaps he'll just send out the human for the late night run instead.

With a nod to himself, Dalton folded his arms in front of him.

"Amir, go put on a jacket," Dalton said gruffly, killing any hope Amir have for a lone run. "It rained the whole time in Paris."

Amir inwardly grimaced. It was the first time Dalton mentioned Paris outside the mission—was it still considered a mission if Director Campbell didn't officially assign it first? He was pretty sure her orders to Dalton were to go hunt down their AWOL spy. When Dalton drove up to the awning Amir stood under—he left too abruptly to arrange for a safe house—he thought the Alpha was going to verbally tear him apart. Instead, Jaz was the one who shot out of the car to accuse him of leaving the boy behind with the terrorists. After a heated exchange, Dalton sternly told them to get in the damn car.

That was thirty hours ago. It felt so long ago though; a memory turned into a nightmare.

A jacket snapped hard around Amir's knees at the same time Dalton's sharp "Jaz!" rang out. He snatched up the worn, lined leather jacket before it slithered to the floor. He shot the black wolf a bland look and said nothing as he slipped it on. He'd worn it when he first arrived and later, he swapped it out for whatever outfit he needed for his cover. Now, it sat unfamiliar across his shoulders, no longer like loose skin, but still as ill-fitting.

"Damn it, Top, this isn't boot camp. Come on, man, couldn't we just—"

Dalton made a rough sound, a cross of a bark and a growl that should have sounded strange out of a human throat, but fitting coming from Dalton. McG quieted. McG's mouth remained set, unhappily, probably still upset with Amir. He glanced over to Amir and shrugged again.

Unsure what McG was trying to convey, Amir turned his attention to Dalton instead and waited. He wished Top at least yell or do something he expected a CO would do. At the very least push him out to do drills, chased by wolves, something. ISIS deferred to those things to enact punishment. At least the military didn't believe in restricting meals as a form of discipline. Although, it was strange not to be hiding food anymore.

Dalton favored Amir with an eyebrow. He seemed to be waiting for something.

"Twenty klicks," Amir acknowledged.

For some reason, Dalton looked disappointed at Amir's answer even though he nodded slowly.

"Take your time," Dalton said cryptically. He stood on the hut's doorway, watching as Amir and Jaz take the first few hesitant steps of the twenty.

 

A wolf howled in the distance. It sounded like an accusation.

Amir fought back a grimace. He jogged, balancing between going too slow and too fast. He didn't want to tire himself too quickly and he was ever mindful of the muffled _thump_ of paws on asphalt beside him.

Jaz trotted next to Amir, muzzle clamped firmly shut, the lolling pink tongue Amir used to see with running wolves absent. Her ears, two black satin triangles, stayed flat to her skull. Her tail was still thick and stiff behind her. She didn't wag. Her blunt muzzle firmly pointed straight ahead, her tail unmoving Amir would have mistaken Jaz for a statue if it weren't for the rhythmic pounding on the abandoned landing strip.

Due to the human of the pair setting the pace, it took a while to reach the first section. Wolves tend to be territorial, so the US military designed the Special Ops base to be spread apart, putting three defined bunker areas between the two shifter teams on Incirlik. 

Amir thought it made sense even if it often made it feel like they were isolated. It took a few minutes of jogging before they see a hint of their neighbors.

They finally passed a hut and bunker combo, dark lumps in the night. Team Six's. The human units, Omega Five and Six were on missions. Amir heard Team Five had to wait until Dalton's team returned first. 

A pang churned in the pit of Amir's stomach. He glanced over at Five's base and wondered what they were delayed from. He hoped the lost time didn't equal to lives.

Jaz snorted beside Amir. 

Amir averted his eyes, fixed it on the empty hut, the last structure that stood as a buffer between Dalton's and Evans's pack. He'll need to turn at that demarcation, a few hundred meters more before crossing into Evans's territory.

"A quarter was done," Amir calculated out loud. The night was quiet, surprising considering Incirlik was an active base. "Evans's territory is up ahead."

Jaz grunted. Her paws struck the asphalt in a drum beat. 

Amir nodded to himself. Fine. He let himself drift, concentrating only on the _left-right_ pattern of his own feet. He ignored the lingering ringing in his ears. _(McG said it would go away.)_ He ignored the echoing in his mind. _(Experience told him that never will.)_ He discarded everything. He sank into the numb sensation he built before, many times before and just ran.

_Left right._

After a while though, Amir's right knee started to ache, but like with everything else, he ignored it. A night's rest usually cured it. The scarring, on the other hand, well, nothing could be done about that.

A snout sniffed noisily at Amir's knee, curious despite herself. Amir started. He forgot he has a companion with him in this night run. 

Amir eyed Jaz warily. He wondered if wolves can smell old injuries like the thick scar tissue that ran down the Achilles' tendon, a favorite spot for wolves to take down their prey. A quick slash with fangs at the ankle, teeth digging deep into a calf to pull the victim down and suddenly five wolves were upon—

Unbidden, Amir quickened his pace. The memory dislodged and he found himself back in the present shivering under a sheen of cold sweat. He squared back his shoulders and forced himself to slow down again.

Jaz huffed, her paws skidding briefly as she adjusted her stride once more. She leaned in, her curiosity taking over again, her snout prodding, her tail curling briefly and brushed against his ankle.

"No!" Amir didn't mean to, but in his efforts to avoid her tail, his heel slid up against her paw. As he hopped sideways, Jaz's left forepaw got caught under his foot.

A pained yip quickly turned into a snarl. Amir had to hop away this time to avoid her snapping jaws.

"Stay on your side," Amir said harshly, sharper than she deserved, but he couldn't bear the sensation, possibly evicting the memory of another tail lashed around his ankle. The words to explain or even to be kinder were lost in his haste, though. He waved her back. 

Jaz's muzzle pulled back to a flash of white fangs. She snapped her teeth towards him again, twisted around and trotted away at a much faster pace than before.

Amir set his jaw, the apology stuck in the back of his throat. He shook his hands loose and fixed his gaze ahead. 

He wanted to be alone, anyway.

 

Mina's betrayed eyes followed Amir.

As Evans's hut steadily rose up like a dark mountain on the horizon, Amir heard another little howl. Most likely from the Turkish side although they still denied having a shifter team. 

A small part of Amir, however, wondered if it was Asim. It won't surprise him if another one haunts him.

Amir's feet pounded harder on the ground. Evans's hut rose higher against the night sky.

_Left right._

Omar's blood was still on the blade Amir carried. He should wash it out later. He caught Preach's nostrils flaring, most likely having caught the scent of the fresh kill. At the time, they were chasing Asim and Jabir on the A7. But while they reached the farmer's market before them, they couldn't reach Asim. Not really.

Asim believed he was cursed. He thought if he sacrificed himself, the curse would leave Mina.

Amir's breathing was loud in his ears. He stomped down each foot harder than necessary. 

_Left right._

Evans's hut touched the top of his vision. Amir thought he could see far away yellow eyes turning towards the intruder. He ran towards the bunker even as his heart hammered painfully in his chest.

Amir's knee burned, warning Amir he should slow down. But Amir ignored it, his brow knitting as he tried to call up the void he drew around him many times before. His breathing hitched. It felt like he needed to physically pull it up around him this time.

_Left right._

Fahid Bayoud believed he was cursed as well. 

Amir gritted his teeth. The burn around his knee started inching up his leg.

_Left right. Left right._

Fahid thought he cursed his whole family, his blood contaminated their genes, turned them all into beasts.

The ghostly kiss of a short tail wrapped around Amir's ankle. A child's laughter rang high before turning into a playful bark.

Amir squeezed his eyes tight. He ran harder. He wondered who would reach the spot first: him or Evans's pack.

A bump on the back of his legs sent Amir sprawling into the ground. 

Amir grunted, rolled, muscle memory taking over. He thrust a hand into his jacket before he remembered the blade was back in the duffel he had hastily packed when Campbell told him about his CIA number's activation. His bag was still in the back of the humvee. McG had snatched it out of his grip when they landed. He brusquely told Amir to grab a hot shower; they would deal with it tomorrow. It almost sounded like they weren't talking about the bag, though.

Trousers snapped straight as teeth clamped onto the fabric to drag Amir away.

Not sure why the wolves didn't try to slash the tendons on the back of his legs again, Amir froze with a brief flicker of confusion. He slapped the ground for a hold. His palms scraped painfully down a few inches and the haze over his eyes lifted.

Amir stared blearily down at the black wolf by his feet. Tail straight up, ears pinched forward, Jaz's teeth were clenched hard at the hem of his trousers. She didn't make a sound as she continued to drag Amir away.

Oh.

Amir shook his leg and Jaz sprang back before he kicks her in the face. He staggered up to his feet. He stood swaying, momentarily disoriented as he glanced down at his scratched up palms. He numbly looked back at Evans's hut. It was smaller now against the night sky.

Jaw set, Amir pivoted back towards Team Four's hut.

Jaz barked twice.

Amir nodded curtly. He turned the other direction and started on the second leg of his run.

As Amir ran, he vaguely heard Jaz trailing him, huffing, claws scratching the asphalt. He wasn't sure why Jaz came back. He ran faster, his stride stretching longer.

_Left right. Left right._

Behind him, Jaz easily followed. Paws danced over the ground, following Amir in an effortless lope.

The moon was midway to the sky behind Amir. Its light warped their shadows, like a sundial in reverse. Amir saw his shortened shade racing alongside a pup. He could almost hear the waves. He could almost hear his parents laughing as Amir gave chase only to have her gleefully tackle him into the sand with a short bark.

Amir's throat squeezed. He gulped down a sound he thought wanted to come out without his permission.

_Left right. Left rig—_

Asim Bayoud never had those hidden moments to run free. 

Amir's lower back burned as he picked up the pace. Vaguely, he thought he heard Jaz scuffling, paws scrambling to catch up. He ran faster still. 

The night chill burned Amir's cheeks even with his whiskered jaw. It was like Mina's slap stayed since he gave her the papers for the US. She screamed, she cried, she struck him with her small fists until Preach materialized next to Amir and wordlessly escorted her to the waiting car.

Citizenship was a pittance of a reward when you're the only one left. 

Amir's shoes grated asphalt loudly like the scrape of a shovel in the dirt. It was a pointless gesture. There had been nothing left to bury. There was nothing left of he—no, of Asim. 

The night boiled around Amir like the sun decided to battle the moon for dominance. Amir's skin burned. Perspiration trickled down his back. 

Mina said people listened to Hamid Khedani. Everybody listened to him. Her father listened to Hamid, told Hamid he would consider brother Khedani's words. 

Then walked into the hotel and charged towards the UN ambassador sent to the Global Shifter Rights conference.

Amir's chest grew tighter and tighter, hardening to a solid form as he ran.

Fahid listened to Hamid. He didn't _hear_ Amir.

Amir's eyes seemed to burn the edges of his vision. 

Asim didn't hear Amir either.

_Leftrightleftrightleftright._

The night turned red. The cold became fire.

Amir's knees exploded in a bolt of heat that simultaneously ran down to his heels and raced up to his head. He felt himself dropping before he could tell his feet to stop.

Asphalt scored Amir's palms when he threw out his hands. He managed to avoid crashing face first to the ground, but his knees landed with a vibration that grabbed his insides and twisted.

Amir threw up. 

Breathing heavily, Amir stayed on his hands and knees. He stared at the ground, blinked and lifted his heavy head up. He was alone.

Amir's mouth twisted. He scoffed, the sound felt acrid in his throat. He stood shakily, dimly noted there was a smudge of blood on the knees of his trousers. He gauged how far it was to Dalton's hut before he needed to turn around to do the next lap.

Running towards Dalton's hut wasn't appealing. He limped around and started back towards Evans's base once more.

He made three feet.

Amir grunted as his knees buckled again. He stayed bowed to the ground, his forehead rested on the fists he dug into the ground. He gulped for air, found it harder than it should be and pressed his shut eyes against the fists on the ground.

It wasn't a curse. It _wasn't_. 

Amir gulped. He breathed out through clenched teeth.

Something quietly crinkled and bumped into his cheek. It felt cool.

Blinking blearily, Amir lifted gritty eyes up from his hands and stared at the water bottle rocking on its side against him. He raised his head and considered the black wolf sitting on its paws, brown eyes staring unblinkingly at him.

Amir jerkily nodded, his thanks lodged in his parched throat. When he sat up, he grabbed the bottle. He found his hands shook too hard. It took him two tries before he could crack the tiny white cap free.

The plastic crunched within his grip as Amir drank. Halfway through, Jaz wuffed warningly and Amir slowed his gulps. 

The cold water settled heavy in Amir's emptied stomach and at first, he felt nauseous. But as he drained the bottle dry, his insides settled. 

Amir sat, his aching legs stretched out on the cold ground. He mangled the bottle, the plastic crumbling in his grip. He cleared his throat. He wondered what he should say.

Another bottle rolled and stopped against his knee.

Amir picked up the bottle. He stared at it blankly. He looked at the wolf still sitting a few feet away.

"Did you carry two bottles?" Amir checked the ground around Jaz, but nothing resembled a carrier by her paws. "Wait, _how_ did you carry two bottles?"

Jaz's nose wiggled. She bared her teeth at Amir in a gruesome grin. Her tail lashed languidly around her legs.

Amir smiled faintly. McG was right; Jaz really was a ninja. He twisted open the bottle. He was heartened to see his hands were steadier now.

After a couple of sips, Amir offered a subdued, "Thanks." He paused and added, "Hope your paw's okay." 

Amir twisted around to stare at the open sky. Water and runaways stretched beyond him and made for a yawning depth. The horizon looked far away from where he sat. The sky looked empty like this. Amir still couldn't decide if it was comforting or painful to look at.

A soft scratching sound to Amir's right drew his burning eyes away. 

Amir studied the black wolf suddenly next to him. It sat by him but not close enough to be within striking distance. Well, at least for him. Amir was certain Jaz could easily leap to his throat if needed.

The wolf stared steadily at the sky. Amir took the hint and faced the night again. He took careful sips of water, no longer thirsty, but he didn't know what else to do to honor the unspoken truce between them.

A C-130 bellowed in the distance as it took off, its lights winking until the plane was too far away to track with the naked eye. It vanished into the field of stars struggling to exist despite the glow of the nearby city. 

Amir's throat worked. He rolled the bottle in his hands. The lingering coolness soothed his cut palms.

A loud sniff.

Amir eyed sideways at Jaz's snout turned towards him, sniffing in his direction. He stretched out a hand and let her snout poke at his palm.

"Not enough blood to attract Evans's pack," Amir told her. Jaz probably wasn't in the mood to be caught between Amir and a pack of blood frenzied wolves.

Jaz grunted and turned back to the horizon. Her tail was softer now, sleek fur curled like an ebony ribbon around her feet. Her ears twitched when another tinny howl bade another departing 130 farewell.

Amir cleared his throat. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught one of Jaz's ears flicked up, but the rest of her was still.

"Before…" Amir gestured towards his ankles with the bottle. The water sloshed inside. It sounded too much like crashing waves. He set the bottle down and away from him.

"I…" Amir took a deep breath. "Someone I used to know. A wolf. Sh—used to like to wrap her tail around my…" He gestured again, this time with a half-hearted wave towards his feet.

"That's all I have left of h—" Amir's throat worked. He pushed the words out. "Her. That memory. I don't want…" 

Amir snatched up the bottle from the ground. He took his time, stiffening his limbs, so his hands remain steady as he opened the bottle. He took a sip. The water tasted sour on his tongue.

"I thought your tail was going to…I…it's all I have left of her." Amir took another sip before adding, "I wasn't trying to kick you."

Jaz woofed shortly, her response lost in the night. She canted her head towards Amir now, her brown eyes wide and earnest.

Amir curled a hand around the bottle. "She was my…" He paused. He glanced back at the wolf. Jaz looked expectant, but he suspected she wouldn't be surprised by the answer.

"Top told you."

The right ear twitched. Then, both ears drooped in confession.

Amir faced the landing strips again. 

"All right," Amir croaked. It made sense Dalton needed to tell them in some effort to explain why Amir left the way he did. He wondered if Dalton also told Staff Sergeant Beacons to clarify why Amir conned his way into the 130 that flew to the naval base in Rota, Spain where he then took another to Paris. 

"So how many know?" Amir shook his head. "Never mind."

Jaz carefully stretched out her head and poked Amir's side once with her nose.

Amir blinked. 

"Just you?"

Jaz somehow managed to shrug and still look canine in her nonchalance.

Amir nodded, puzzled but comforted by the revelation. He lifted a shoulder. "I should tell the others. Full disclosure." The prospect though, lodged uncomforting in his chest making it hurt to breathe. Hearing it out loud was as bad as thinking about it. His head spun for something else to say instead.

"I should have waited for you guys." It wasn't much better, but it was the first thing Amir could think of. "When Director Campbell called, I should have waited. I shouldn't have left like that."

Jaz growled under her breath. A paw lifted as if to move away. It hovered in the air and eventually settled back down. The wolf shook its head, fur ruffling at its scuff, tail whipping out left and right with an abrupt swish. 

Amir couldn't bring himself to dredge up the energy to think about something else or offer excuses or reasons. He should have finished his post-mission report and let it exorcise the failure. Instead, he let McG shove him towards the showers. He let Preach push him down to a chair at dinner. He let Rivera handle the rest of the paperwork for Mina and the DGSC. 

It was suddenly too tiring to pack up things and store them away for another day. A day he pushed off as years went by because he couldn't fathom unpacking anything.

"I should have…" Amir let the words dry up in the night. There were too many possibilities to voice out loud. He let them evaporate between them.

Amir stared out at the sky again. He should apologize to everybody, type up something to Director Campbell and see if they'll ship him off to another assignment instead. Hopefully, they'll assign him to a different handler.

A huff teased the knuckles on his right hand massaging his knee. He looked down. He didn't realize he was doing that. When he pulled his hand away, the shadow of a sloping head cast over his leg. A beat later, a muzzle drew near and prodded the side of his knee.

"Feral wolf," Amir said shortly, discussion over. 

Jaz growled. 

Amir pulled his knee away and folded his legs crossed. His knees didn't thank him for it and at this angle, he could see the small tears on his trousers from the fall. He thought about the other trousers, shredded by shrapnel from the blast. McG dragged him away before the debris shredded _him_. Amir couldn't remember if he ever thanked him for it. 

The wolf sniffed towards Amir's knee again.

"It was a long time ago," Amir said tightly. He shifted his knee out of reach again.

Jaz snarled.

Giving up, Amir stayed still as Jaz inched closer, her compact body curving into a prowling posture.

A hair's breadth away from Amir's knee, Jaz paused. Amir held his breath, waiting. He stared at the side profile of the wolf and wondered if there was any point trying to run. 

A paw lifted and hung over Amir's knee. Jaz squinted sideways at Amir.

And lightly swatted Amir's knee.

Amir blinked. He stared at Jaz. The wolf gazed back, still as a statue.

"Ow?" Amir ventured.

Jaz snorted. The wolf dropped down on its furry rear and wiggled closer to him. 

Amir breathed out as the wolf settled against him. He supposed it meant he was forgiven for Paris or for existing in the first place. 

No more planes were leaving Incirlik. It left the base sounding empty and abandoned. The silence rang hollow in Amir's ears, a dull ache that made its own unique and discomforting sound. Amir wondered if that's what Dalton's pack returned to after drills with Evans's pack. He swallowed.

"I probably shouldn't have left like that," Amir admitted. "Top's right. I should have looked for him. At the time, I…" He lifted his shoulders, unable to finish. He wasn't sure what he thought at the time.

Jaz grumbled under her breath but did nothing else.

"It must be frustrating to work with me," Amir murmured.

Jaz barked softly as if agreeing. 

Amir's mouth twisted ruefully. "You guys have to deal with another human so soon after…" He stopped.

Jaz didn't turn towards him, but her silvery whiskers drooped.

Amir averted his eyes.

"He was a friend," Amir guessed quietly.

Next to Amir, Jaz gave a little shiver.

Amir mentally reviewed every interaction he had with Jaz. Clarity left him momentarily at a loss for words. But clarity also brought in an understanding Amir wished he didn't share.

"He was your best friend," Amir rasped.

A whine creaked out from Jaz's throat. The wolf settled on its stomach, head on its front paws, tail limp and unmoving.

Amir blinked rapidly at the horizon. No one ever talked about Vallins. His dossier comprised of bullet points listing accomplishments. Words aren't capable of conveying everything.

"Saying sorry never helps," Amir murmured, almost to himself. "But I am sorry."

Jaz's ears sagged. The wolf blew out through its nose.

Amir reached out a hand towards the ears. A pair of silvery ears, a teasing tweak and all was forgiven, fears were forgotten and tears were dried.

But Amir did it for someone else, someone who forgave him for everything, even when he said he couldn't drive her to the concert hall—

Amir's hand retreated. He left it back on his leg.

Jaz's head tilted slightly towards Amir. One silky ear perked towards him.

"I'm sorry," Amir repeated. "I…get it." He swallowed, but the lump in his throat never completely goes away.

A weight settled on Amir's knee. His eyes cracked open—when had he closed them—and met brown eyes cast up his direction. 

Jaz quietly barked. 

Amir hesitantly nodded.

The wolf huffed. Its head still on Amir's knee, it turned back towards the horizon. After a beat, the wolf squirmed closer until it was flushed against his hip.

Amir stilled, unsure if he wanted to push the wolf away or stay put. He sat, frozen, wishing Top hadn't told Jaz to shift and yet grateful he did. Words were empty. They rattled inside, blindly slashing, hurting when they should be healing.

Jaz wuffed and blew out, her muzzle stretching wide into a yawn, her whispers shivering like spun silver. The weight and movement unexpectedly knead a sore spot on Amir's knee. She stood up on all fours and gave a full body shake that knocked Amir to the ground.

"Hey!" Amir sat up. The black wolf grinned at him, white teeth flashing, pink tongue lolling out.

Amir, on impulse, opened the water bottle and shook it towards her. Water sprinkled. A yip and the wolf barked, startled. Amir froze, the bottle still up in mid-air in his grasp.

The wolf blinked. Then snatched the water bottle out of Amir's grip. Racing around Amir, Jaz violently shook the water bottle towards him.

Amir sputtered, his hand up, but it wasn't enough to umbrella against the impromptu rain. 

"Thank you," Amir grumbled. He wiped his face dry with a swipe of a sleeve. When he pulled his arm away, it felt like he cleaned more than water from his face. 

Amir smiled ruefully at the wolf huffing, jaws yawning wide in a canine laugh. Jaz gave another full body shiver to dry her fur. She trotted over and bumped Amir in the knee. She barked, hopped back and took a few steps before stopping. The wolf twisted around and barked again.

Amir nodded. He walked stiffly at first, his stride becoming easier by the time he reached Jaz. He considered the distance towards Evans's.

"Halfway there?" Amir calculated.

Jaz butted her head on his knee again. Her tail swayed left and right in a serene wave.

"Let's go." Amir started off slowly, his arms loose against him, his stride quickening until he went back to a comfortable jog that didn't jar his knee.

Next to Amir, Jaz followed, matching paws to feet. 

They finished the rest of the distance without speaking again, their pace steady and unhurried.

**Author's Note:**

>  _(hands in the air)_  
>  Okay. It's a series. (Kind of.)  
> Happy? LOL.
> 
>   
> Feedback is like cookies. I like cookies!  
> 
> 
> Fans for season 2, don't forget the hashtags!  
> #RenewTheBrave  
> #TheBrave


End file.
